Sun 10032004 1237

            Im at LAX in CA.  I wonder when exactly i'll be heading out.  Im already checked in.  Yay, one less thing to worry about.  I like not having things to worry about.  I've decided that time is one of our greatest Allies and one of our greatest enemies.  Time...  It exists because we put a label on something in this existance so we can try to better understand it.  It's not tangable but it is some of the most potent stuff ever.  Time is only your enemy when you let it work against you, when you work against it.  When you race the clock, when you push your luck and put off things because you think you have enough of it.  Im a pro at crastination.  That isn't a good thing.  Something i'm working on.  One of the many things im working on.  Not to make it sound like i'm plagued by problems.  I have a few yea, but most of the things that i'm working on are parts of me that are alright, but i've decided I don't want to settle for alright.  One of the things i'm working on is Time.  Or more specific, management of Time.  To quote a poem i'm working on..  "I should take the moment.  This very moment will be the one to take.  Take every moment for what it is.  Every single moment, every beat of the heart, every breath, are for the taking.  Use it to live.  Use it to find yourself.  Use it.  Never letting them slip.  Take time to better use the time you have available."  I hear about people sacrificeing the now so that the can have a better future.  But when does that stop?  When do they stop sacrificeing..  How can they ever enjoy the sacrifices of the past if they keep on sacrificeing what they have now?  You'll end up old, dusty, and the bad part is... Hollow.  Your whole life will have gone by for the sake of tomarrow.  The past will be just another door you closed behind you as you stumbled foreward looking for a new door to open. 

However.. on the flip side... and to clarify what i'm saying...  the past is no where to live either.  You'll never grow by wrapping yourself up in what has happened.  Things that have happened can not be changed.  Sometimes they can be glorified, justified, and critisized, but never changed.  You need to find a balance.  Take time in the now to look at the past and realized what happened because of what you did, then look at whats happening now and what you can do and what might happen because of that.  The past has a curious way of ducking and weaving into the soon to be present.  The same situations will pop up.  This is the moment that you decide who you are, who you will be by looking at who you were and why you were that way.  If you make the same decision twice in the same situation it might be a good thing.  But if you don't know why you made those decisions..  you cannot grow.  Growing, learning, experianceing.  These are the basics of life.  Choose to live.